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Monday, January 4, 2016

Life is Measured by the Hole in the Shoe

Each generation has a rendezvous with it's destiny 
                 

May I be so bold as to suggest that the first 10 years of a person's life
sets the stage for the beliefs, goals, attitude and ambition for the rest of
that life. My life started in 1930, two months after the stock market
fell, ringing in the start of the depression. The 1st ten years of my
life surrounded me with a poverty never since seen in this country.
The only way to describe those ten years is just to say, poverty
reigned supreme. Think of scenes from the "Grapes of Wrath" and
that is how I remember my childhood.  I'm not saying it was all
gloom and doom as the human spirit can find joy in any situation.

Today I laugh at people who say they are poor while they are
surrounded with new autos, iPhones, TV's, computers and oh yes,
plumbing. No one seems to lack life's material offerings and free
 food is always available (although be it GMO's).

The word "waste" was never in my vocabulary.  I can't under-
stand why people go to a restaurant, pay for a plate of food,  eat
a few bites and leave it. Recently, I was trapped into going out
 to a family breakfast with a few members of the younger
generation.

I distinctly heard them order "extra bacon" and when
 the waitress came to collect the plates, they were still brimming
with bacon,  I quickly snatched bacon from the plates and questioned
"You're not eating this bacon?"  I know.......I'm an embarrassment
but in my memory, wasting bacon is a sin, yes, a sin right
up there with "Thou shall not commit adultry."  LOL

The other day as I was taking off my shoes,  I noticed a small
hole in my sock. Without even thinking, I got out my sewing
basket and a light bulb and was starting to mend my sock. OMG
what was I doing? I had just given generous Christmas bonuses
(enough money that a family could have lived on for a year back
in the 30's) to delivery people and people who had helped me
throughout the year and I WAS BEGINNING TO MEND A
SOCK?????  Crazy......huh? This time, almost embarrassed
for myself,  I tossed the sock and put away the sewing box.
My happy thought was, that I DO know how to weave threads
to make a sock look like new. I also know I could still cut the
perfect size cardboard to cover the big hole in the bottom of a
shoe.

DO YOU THINK THESE SKILLS WILL EVER COME 
IN HANDY AGAIN? 

57 comments:

  1. I hope we never lose our ability to make-do, to be frugal. Although I didn't grow up in the Depression and my family wasn't *poor*, we lived many years in a four room shack without running water or electricity. I never felt deprived but I think it definitely made me appreciative hot water showers! (I remember some people using shoe polish to black their feet where there was a hole in the sock...)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh Bish, what a heart-warming comment, and I love the "never lose our ability to make-do" phrase.

      Shoe polish to cover up a hole in the sock. That is a brilliant idea. It would have saved me hours of darning when I was young. hahaha

      I remember my first shower. It was after gym in the 7th grade. We all "had " to take a shower and most of the kids
      tried to duck out of it but those of us who were really poor loved to lolly gaggle in the shower with the free soap. LOL

      That must have been when you lived in the Islands. We can always have showers and electricity later in life but think of that heavenly experience of the ocean, all the exquisite plants and all the exploring you grew up with.
      Lucky you.

      Delete
  2. Very true, a lot of that crap that makes people "poor" isn't even needed. Yet they still do it. You don't need cable, you don't need new cars, big ass this and that and the other thing. Yet people think it is a need. I haven't bought new clothes in years lol holey sock, oh well. I wear it and off I go. Better things to spend my money on like health and non GMO BS. Now of course I have to have money to spend lol getting frugal as can be here at my sea, wasn't for rent I'd be fine for a while, that is what screws me. As renting in a place where the jobs are, isn't cheap, unless you want to go to a place where you stand a high likelihood of getting shot lol

    People have this constant need for things that is pathetic. I'm all for improving one's life/health but a 100th pair of shoes isn't going to do that or a 70 inch tv when you say have a 55 inch tv already, makes it even more pathetic. I have relatives who are pulling in well over 120K together, yet they are still crying poverty and are money hungry. It takes all my might to bite my tongue lol pathetic really. That is one reason why I'd like to win the lottery or something, just to watch them stick their hand out and then give them a bag of cat poop or something lmao

    If people now a days had to live back then many would starve.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pat
      That was a "from the heart" comment and I appreciate it.
      I don't ever buy new clothes, either. New clothes feel so
      unfriendly. I'm always out of style, like my 30 year old pick-up I drive in the summer. Maybe you don't buy new clothes but you always look handsome and hunky and that's why those
      young hotties are following you around town. Hahahah
      They are looking at the abs and pecs and not at your socks, anyway.
      You made me laugh with the bag of cat poop. I started doing that daily since I brought the litter box downstairs. Dear Pat, I too, wish you could win the lottery. Did I ever tell you about a girlfriend who is just plain lucky. She and her husband won a smaller lottery once.... I think it was under
      50 th. There is a Montana million lottery at Christmas time and they also give away $500 at various lotto stores. She's won $500 two years in a row now. It may not be the huge one but they must be fun to win. LOL

      Happiness definitely does not tag along with money but it
      leaves one some time to appreciate the art in the world.

      Delete
    2. lol young hotties following me? Geez, I must be blind haha

      Never going to happen, but nice thought, first I'd have to have money to buy a ticket too lol. 50K isn't too shabby a win. Yeah, not bad to win $500 twice indeed. Every little bit helps. Yeah, you need some money or you sure as heck won't be happy on the street haha

      Delete
    3. Pat
      This is funny. They just picked winners on this huge lottery ...... I guess the biggest ever. But I saw lines and lines of Canadians waiting to cross the border before, so they could buy tickets for that lottery. I heard there were three winners.... in CA, TN and Florida. Even split up, that one would be obscene money. LOL I didn't even buy a ticket, but I thought of it.

      Yeah ....This year I ran into that friend at the store where we were both going to buy tickets but she didn't get a $500 bonus this year. Perhaps she went to another store and bought more tickets. They are $20 each because it's a small local lottery.

      Delete
  3. Very interesting read and food for thought indeed. Greetings!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Blogoratti
      Greetings my friend on this beginning of a New Year. I do hope you get time to read all the books on your list.

      Delete
  4. This is probably a depressing thought...but I'm thinking the generation we have now could do with a life-changing event such as you experienced. Many Americans living today (and that includes me) have no earthly idea what it's like to live through an existential threat. Maybe then we'd more fully appreciate what we have.
    Like I said, a depressing thought.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Al
      You are such a dear person. It may be a depressing thought but I believe too, this will be that year for some great change. If it has to happen in one's lifetime, I believe it's easier to have the lean times at the beginning of one's life. I didn't know any different because it's all I ever saw. Then as times improved after the war, my generation was excited with the change and just kept saying, "WOW."

      But then take my Mother, for instance. I have pictures of her in her fine jewels and furs and the classic old cars that were then new. Haha Dancing and parties...... a true flapper she was as in the days of Scotty and Zelda. I saw her grow in bitterness as she aged, when most people had to scrounge for that scrap of daily bread. My peer group thrived though because 10 years of hard work and being able to accept disappointments made our generation rise to the top, like cream. You are so right, Al. I do believe the kids of today are headed for a huge shock. You perhaps didn't have to learn things the hard way but I know the path you chose provided you with the lessons you needed to become a responsible, caring human. I salute you Mr. Navy Man.

      Delete
  5. Hi Manzanita - I don't think today's generation can do much, unless their parents were like we were at home - it's all too easy now-a-days ... they have no concept sadly ...

    Yes I do mend still ... and could do more ... but I wear my clothes lightly and hand wash much to keep it - but also because I struggle to find clothes I like.

    I'm sure those years were pretty awful - to put it mildly .. I guess ... we looked after all our things after the War and my parents certainly scrimped and saved as much as possible ... etc etc ..

    Happy New Year - and all the best - cheers Hilary

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Hilary
      You talked about laundry and I've been realizing how much my younger life influenced me yet, today. After we finally got a dryer, my mother still hung the panties and bras, anything with elastic, outside. The elastic gave longer service without the heat of the dryer. ( I still do that)

      You had it much harder during the war than we did. We both had all the rations and the loss of the men in combat but you had the added burden of the actual bombing. That must have left deep scars on many people. Now, war clouds are threatenig again.

      Enough of that talk. I wish you the brightest new year and happiness throughout.

      Delete
  6. OOoh what a good post!!! I was just teased for saving aluminum foil. I wasn't a depression baby (1947 for me)but was taught Not to be wasteful. I'm shocked by the wastefulness I see...

    ReplyDelete
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    1. turquoisemoon
      You were a baby boomer. So was my brother and he was a surprise baby boomer, too. Hahaha Kids were still being taught the harmony of good, balanced living. I can't remember when it began to change. Waste not Want not. hahaha

      Delete
  7. Good post. I think most of them have no idea.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. John M
      Thanks for visiting. They don't. I was watching some young people trying to dig up some earth. They honestly didn't know how to use a shovel. I can't ever recall being taught to use a shovel. I guess I thought everyone could do that.
      LOL

      Delete
  8. Good post. I think most of them have no idea.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The visiting was really nice
      The chat was even twice

      Delete
  9. Fortunately, I can afford to shop anywhere I want, but my parents taught me to look for sales & shop in bargain basements & I can't stop doing that!!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Fishducky
      I know what you mean. I do too..... that is if I ever shop but mostly I just rummage through my daughter's bags that are ready to go to the thrift store. LOL

      Delete
  10. That brought back memories of my Mom darning our socks. I was born at the end of the depression but it was still fresh in everyone's mind. Actually hope today's youth is never tested. Pretty sure they would not pass.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Patti
      Good to see you up and about. Yeah, I always call the war the sharp demarcation line that ended the depression. Things were certainly not easy then either, but there were jobs available ...... you know, Rosie the Riveter jobs.

      Delete
  11. People surrounded by material things (today's 'necessities')are often poor because they are still paying off these items, which are NOT made to last and so break down requiring replacement long before they are paid for. It's easy to say 'do without' but who wants their kids to be the only ones at school who don't have a TV or internet access?
    Did you also toss the non-holey sock partner? I gave up darning just a few years ago when I was wearing black socks for work and could no longer properly see the black darning thread against the sock. My mum used to darn the elbows on our jumpers before they actually became holey, to strengthen them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. River
      Such truth you speak. I see the young neighbors with 3 brand-new cars in their driveway and at first thought, "Geez, they must have money, while I do have a newer car, I still drive my 36 year old pick-up. Yeah..... when my kids were young, I did want their life to be better than mine
      had been. Now, sometimes I wonder if that was a mistake.
      The older I get, I can't seem to seperate my early childhood from today and I'm afraid some of my kids are snobs and I am an embarrassment to them. I can see this by the friends "they" choose and I don't feel the friends are genuine. And
      then I tell myself, "of course not..... times have changed and my gut feeling must be wrong. I just don't know.

      No... the socks were black and I saved the other black sock. When I knit socks, I always run a thin nylon thread along with the heel and toe yarn. It really saves those wear spots so I know just why your mum was reinforcing them.
      It's really difficult for me to thread a needle now, too.

      Delete
  12. Hi, Manzi, better save that lightbulb because it may be difficult finding one soon. All I see are the wiggle-waggle kind. I have a pair of very old jeans that are all frayed and torn which I wear, pretending that they cost $200. lol. I'm thinking of patchworking it up, hippie style.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Susie
      Now they cut holes in jeans. The other below-zero day, I was talking to my young neighbor (outside). I was bundled up and freezing and she was wearing jeans that looked like the slasher had attacked her legs. She finally said she was going inside because she was cold. Oh really!!!!!!! Are those the $200 jeans you are referring to?

      I've got the light-bulb situation covered. I hate those new bulbs, even though they are supposed to last longer. I've been stockpiling. Did you ever break one of those squiggly ones? There's powdery stuff that is poison. I used to do photography for the dance groups and we broke one of the big ones once and had to vacate for half the dance class.

      Delete
    2. Oh, gee, I better be more delicate when I handle those lightbulbs. It's a good thing I like going to the dump, where we have to make a special trip to get rid of them.

      It sounds like your neighbor's jeans are the $200 ones (or cheaper, depending on where she bought them). Of course, she could've done them herself. If she did, I hope they were old jeans or ones from the thrift store. The cost of new jeans is disgustingly high, too. Methinks I have a future post. lol

      Delete
    3. Susie
      Grand....do drop in for a little inspiration now and then. Haha.....I don't know if the jeans were the pricey ones or thrift store bling but I think her skin was blue under the cuts..... matched the denim. Hahaha

      Delete
  13. I agree that our first 10 years affect our thoughts, beliefs, attitudes, etc. My parents were in their teens during the depression. My father ran away from the orphanage his father put him in and he rode the rails during the depression. It certainly shaped him. And he shaped me. Very thoughtful post.

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    Replies
    1. Karen
      Shades of "Little Orphan Annie." The rail-riders were called hobos and do I ever remember them. They had a camp set up by the railroad and there was a big pot of stew always cooking over a wood fire for whoever wandered in. Not for us kids, of course. We were always somewhat fearful of them and would spy from a distance. I don't ever recall people doing crime. It was more like people helping one another. As I watch the demonstrations of today, I'm afraid there would be much crime if tshtf.
      I bet your father had some wonderful but sad stories to tell. The old saying is that everyone has a story inside of them and they really do.
      Nice to see you, Karen.

      Delete
  14. I do think that the first ten years shapes our lives. My great grandparents and my grandma (mom's side) never really got over The Great Depression. My grandma was a little girl and my great grandmother was pretty young, too. My great grandmother saved things like string all her life. When we went through her drawers after her passing she had balls and balls of string. My grandma always bought staple items when they were on sale (needed or not). I believe both of those behaviors stemmed from living through the Depression.

    Will we ever face this again? I'm a big believer in history constantly repeating itself. Will you and I live through it? Don't know. Chances are this young generation that believes not having a mobile phone is *suffering* may very well see it. Life is funny that way.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Robin
    I really like Paul Ehrlich, a favorite author of mine who is my age now. I recently saw him on an interview where they were talking about 2016 being "the year." They asked what we'll all do and he said, "I don't know about anyone else, but I'm going to die." That's
    my sentiments too. I've always thought this would be the year because there are certain things that "have" to be accomplished, according to Agenda 21. It kinda looks like it's started and will snowball. My brother and I recently said, give us a small piece of land with available water and a knife and we could survive forever. (Trees on the land would be helpful. LOL)

    Dear Sweet Robin, I really don't know and it's something no one wants to think about. If the time is near, I'm afraid it will make the
    thirties look like a fun summer picnic but I'm sure as HELL praying
    I am totally wrong.
    Take care of yourself. Life IS funny that way.

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  16. When the world goes to hell in a handbasket it is good to know some of us still have the skills to cope. Even though we may not need them.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Jono
      Coping skills. Isn't that some kind of a saw?
      Thanks for stopping by. It's my pleasure to
      meet you.

      Delete
  17. Happy 2016! There is nothing to be ashamed of. I had a very conservative upbringing, because my grandparents and parents knew about poverty first-hand. So in my family wasting anything, especially food was a huge no-no. You have skills that will always be useful.Just think, if we had to be submitted to those living conditions of the depression today, how many of us (the younger generation will survive?) I don't think many. People were hardier back then. Though, I think you deserve to spoil yourself every now and then. You are so deserving of it:) May 2016 be a fantastic year for you.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Dear Murees
      Maybe I deserve a brand new pair of socks, you mean?
      Maybe I can even have a new pair of shoes to go with them. LOL I never thought of myself as being frugal, especially when I was young but I guess I really am.
      I think your parents and grandparents did a very fine job in pointing out the meaningful values to you. I salue them and especially you for following their advice.
      Thanks el mucho

      Delete
  18. Happy New Year and all the best for 2016! Yes, I also wonder if all our sewing skills would ever come handy again.

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    1. Romance Book
      I do think it all comes around again, perhaps not always in the exact same way but there are a lot of practical lessons that always can apply.
      May 2016 be a fantastic year for your romance reading.

      Delete
  19. My first time here. I enjoyed your post and all the comments. I have a darning egg made of wood that I brought over with me from France when I came to the US. My first ten years certainly marked me. I was born in 1940 in France and lived in Paris. I remember my mother (who had been a seamstress) telling me that to be able to get one chicken egg a week for me she would do all the sewing (free) for a couple of farm women. I was sure skinny then… I loved cheese and for Christmas my grandparents, great uncles and great aunts would all give their cheese ration coupons to my mum so she could get me some cheese as a present. But I don’t remember being hungry. What I most remember from that early time are the sirens telling us to go down to the cellar because German planes were coming – we lived on the 6th floor and we had to go down quickly in the dark and that was scary to me. After all those years I can still remember the siren sounds – that is why I hate war and think we should always try to avoid one. But on a happier note I wish you a very happy new year.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. VAGABONDE
      Thank you for that most interesting comment. There is so much feeling for what a mother will do for her children. I can imagine your dear mother doing ALL that sewing for only one egg a week but it was at a time when all eggs were still organic and all that beautiful nutritiion an egg will give you. Also what great love from your grandparents who gave up their chees ration for you. You were truly loved.
      I do remember rationing very well but we did not have to live in the constant fear of the bombs dropping like you did.
      The war did affect us all, even way before the US was actively engaged in it. I was only 9 when Poland was invaded and I can remember the conversations with my young friends on how terrible it was for the kids in Poland. It made us find the real values to life none of the silliness. So, I don't know if that is entirely a good thing or not but it was what it was.
      You were lucky that you were never hungry. I was certainly hungry during the great depression but food was more available during the war. That affected me forever. Although I am still thin, I hoard food. I try not to and my kids use my house as a "free store." If they run out of something, they come to my house and do their shopping, as they put it.
      hahaha
      That part about the one chicken egg made me misty. I now have 5 chickens that I feed organically and I do eat a lot of good, rich eggs. Actually eggs are my favorite food .... oh, and goat cheese. I used to raise goats too. LOL

      Thanks again and I hope you find lots of fresh eggs and great cheese in your menu for 2016.

      Delete
  20. Ah I hope they don't come in handy (needing those skills). I went from very comfortable to instantly poor. We're talking no house, no car, nothing that belonged to me, poor. Stuff I loved Manzi, especially my baby pictures and such of the kids, the baby boxes, things from my grandma, etc. (which I hope to get back at some point, but definitely may not), all gone. But instead of making me sad and bitter (which it did for a very very small time) I know it's going to be okay. I can now relate to how very hard it is to DO things you take for granted (like find and get to work) when you're poor. And so when I'm back on my feet, and oh I will be back on my feet, I'm going all out to make sure I'm a part of helping others feel valued and to find ways to learn to help themselves. That's not just my goal for 2016, that's my goal for long-term. I'm getting closer. Just the big divorce/custody mess and I'll be through. What sparked my long rant? I just mended my son's sock that got a hole in it because he only owns four pairs. :) No need to learn the cardboard trick, the blog reviews have him good on shoes for the next year, lol (I started ordering a size or two up, so he may even be good on shoes for two eyars, lol). :) And the beauty of it all, the kids haven't changed. They're still loving, generous and warm, and now they've got life lessons to carry too (so they won't waste bacon ;) ). Have a great weekend!

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  21. Dear Rosie
    I was so touched by your comment that I had to think about it before I answered. I deeply feel for your plight even though I don't understand why you are suddenly without your personal treasurers
    and a comfortable way of life. Only through the grapevine, did I hear that you are getting divorced and you moved to Florida. There
    must be some very dire circumstances to your situation. Do never express regret for a rant on my blog. It's there for you to "get it off your chest" any time. It feels good to get it out and onto a screen. LOL
    You are a brave survivor....... that I can feel and in spite of a little rain and cloudy weather, you, kiddo, will rise to the top. You remind me of myself when I was young. As I said, I don't know your circumstance but I'll briefly tell you mine. Many men are narcissists and that is a sick mental disease and it usually revolves around womanizing and a denial of responsibility. I had 4 small kids when my narcissist husband disappeared and left us no money. I did astrology readings and that brought in a little grocery money but I thought ahead and what if he was still gone at christmas. I needed more money. I got a night job at a plastic factory and my oldest daughter was 10 and could handle any situation if the younger kids woke up. This small factory had dumb machines (that I hated) that fed plastic through it and they were always breaking down. I studied them and could get them going again when no one else could seem to. After a month, I was made night supervisor and I just walked around, wearing my tool belt, repairing these stupid machines ..... but I demanded more money. Life was pretty bleak at that time.... no sleep, trying to keep the kids happy .... but I got through it....we had a good Christmas and I quit that damn job. Everything eventually turned out for the best and I eventually met Calvin.

    But one thing it does, as time goes on, it makes one a little crispy along the edges. I have absolutely no time for namby-pamby women. They bore me silly! ..... but there's enough of us survivors
    out there to cheer you on. Remember, my blog is always open any time you feel a rant coming on. LOL DO NOT FORGET.....YOU ARE A SURVIVOR.

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    Replies
    1. And you are amazing to share your story. Thank you! And thank you too for your sweet support. Genuine words always bring happy tears to my eyes. It's nice to know there are people who understand and people who wish others joy. I'm glad you made it through strong and happy, and I'm glad you found your Calvin. :)

      Delete
    2. Thank you dear Rosie and I hope your life is
      by now moving ahead in a firm, solid pace. You
      deserve to receive what is excellent in life.

      Delete
  22. Oh, I was blown away by Rosie's comment. Yes, we do not know what it is to be poor. Hugs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Romance Book
      Oh Yes ....it's a good thing to get it out like she did. People don't care because a lot of us have been there. And many of us have been a few steps away from the "poor farm, too"

      Delete
  23. My parents and grandparents lived during that 30s depression time. One grandmother taught me how to mend socks, another how to sew. They passed the skills needed then, and needed now. Poverty is a great motivator. I wonder: will the generations coming after us learn those skills?

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    1. Susan
      Do you ever ask your grandparents to tell you some stories about the depression? I wish I had asked my grandma many more things. Both my grandmother and my mother darned sock and they looked like perfection. Mine took a long time so the darning thread didn't hurt the toe. It was usually the toe or the heel that had the hole.
      Well, from what is supposed to be coming (and soon) they will have to learn or walk around with holey socks. But I hope I'm wrong.... very wrong.

      Delete
  24. I have never been poor in the way you describe, but my parents instilled some of the depression mentality in me.

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    1. joeh
      The way you were raised instilled the right balance of values. When one is raised too poor, they end up a hoarder, like me. They are always afraid those hungry times will return so they hoard and stockpile. But dang it, that uneasy
      gut feeling is stronger than ever now.
      You had very wise parents.

      Delete
  25. My grandma often says how lucky we are and we can't even get it. The way her life was going is much more differ from mine. She also says that we work much more less than people worked when she was young/ Life becomes easier.

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    1. stilusessaywriting
      Life really is easier and people have for time for leisure and entertainment. But most people use that extra time to watch the tube. Previously, people had very little money and they learned to make or prepare the products that now we buy in a store. All the work kept people healthy and trim
      without ever setting a foot in a gym. LOL
      Thank you for visiting.

      Delete
  26. I'm very frugal, too, even when I don't have to be. It's the way I was raised. Wasting food isn't even considered nowadays. I can still hear my Mom saying if I didn't eat it, the poor children in China would starve.

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    1. Dear Barb
      It's so good to learn values and that leads to appreciation of what we find along the way in our life travels. I'm always happy to find more people like me out there. LOL
      My Mothers used that China comparison too. Years later, when I thought about it, it didn't seem relevant, at all. Ha

      Delete
  27. Throwing away food is a sin, all right. And plumbing is so underrated... until it's not there.

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  28. We go out to the beach in Oregon and Washington for food from the sea, crabs, salmon, shrimp and my all time favorite clams! My husband spoils me he came from a huge family oldest of 9 kids, his dad was missing in action and his mom kept having kids when he came by the house, he never supported his family but my husband never acts angry or disgusted by his not being a dad and husband to his late Mother! He is kind, gentle and loving, we act like tomorrow will not come, buried his dad, mom and brother and his 1/2 sister died toooo! The family calls us everytime someone passes thinking we are the bank of America! I am the one to answer our land line phone..I have to tell them we are not the bank of America and be nice..I came from a dysfunctional family my Mom died young and we were placed in foster homes and treated horribly, I vowed if I ever got to California to my Grandma I would never be cheap and unkind and I did it and she enjoyed being spoiled she lived to make sure I got thru school and I got along with her, she was old but young in heart. She always said you cannot take anything with you when you pass from this life why be so frugal you cannot enjoy anything! She had it very hard but never complained and could cook and sew and make do, she was a peach of a human being..I don't get people who deny themselves anything my aunt is nearly 100 and she never indulged one iota and I hated being around such a cheap person, my mother's only sibling to boot and she would argue with her Mother my beloved Grandma and I would keep my mouth shut..I never let her know I would spoil my Grandmother with dinners out and lovely candies she adored and occasionally a bottle of wine she so wanted, come on she was in her 90's and I was young why not love and be kind to those you love, money cannot buy much but it bought my Grandmother much much happiness and it did for me too~!

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