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| Love? Look of Terror. He's Reading the Clues. |
I figured out why. My generation was caught in the middle of women's transformation. When I was little, all the women in my family mesmerized me into believing the total sum of a woman's life was to find a man who was a good provider, have babies and live happily ever after. I did that, twice. I'm not complaining. My life was good, more than good but relationships left me yearning.
Years later again, I saw a Vedic astrologer and the first thing he said when looking at my chart, "You were supposed to be a dancer. What happened?" Stutter, stutter, blatt, blatt. I did dance but to be the dancer my chart indicated, it would have excluded a family. No, I needed my family too. My life was like being at a very exclusive buffet...... I knew I couldn't take everything, but I could choose the best of the things I really liked.
What does this have to do with Valentines Day? Nothing, really. But I finally figured out after 80 plus years, I don't have a single regret. My life is like a movie and I get to be the director. So I'll say Happy Valentine's Day but more in the tone of the Valentine above (by the way, it came from my granddaughter. My kind of Valentine).
Dear Bloggie Friends, may you have a meaningful and loving Valentines Day in your special chosen path.
haha fun valentine indeed
ReplyDeleteAs she plants the seed
But yep, in the blah crowd
As one big commercialized shroud
But I'll handle that tomorrow at my sea
With a rhyme as usual from me
And that is all one can really ask too
To have no regrets when looking back at the movie their life went through
Pat, Commercialized shroud. I like that. Read Pat tomorrow, you'll have a really good blast at the shroud. Great post today on the penny. . Last night on the news, they were saying how much it cost to make the penny so ours will be going too. It is too bad to give up all those old penny sayings and nursery rhymes.
DeleteI am from the same cloth as you.....We were brought up... You get married, you have babies and live happily ever after. What bunk.... We usually marry the wrong one the first time and have to try again to get it right.
ReplyDeleteTerry, Yes we both did better the 2nd time. Practice, practice until you get it right. But I think the reason the astrologers commented on marriage for me is because I don't always want to have so much togetherness. An airline pilot would make a good husband because they would be away most of the time.... or in the Navy.... that would be good too.
DeleteWhen you can look back on life with no regret, then that's a helluva life. Awesome Manzi :)
ReplyDeleteOh, Keith, that would be sad.... to reach my age and have all kind of regrets. It would almost make what you have left, a complete waste..Better to be grateful in place of regretful.
DeleteHi there. You're quite right - it was just accepted back in the days, that we would get married and have children. When I think of the opportunities that my two daughters have now, even though they are now married with children. Love that valentine from your granddaughter. I would think that yours has been a life well lived my friend!
ReplyDeletethisisme, Women seem to go for it all now. They are wise to get their education first. I was married so young that I spent the first 10 years of marriage in school. How much less stress it would be to have school behind you when you start a family. But it all turned out as it should be. (I think) Ha
DeleteLoved your comment that you were social and can go along with the crowd!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm also a Pisces and they can be anything. Thanks for the comment about women
DeleteLoved seeing this photo. Oh, yes, I was right there, no pain no gain era.
ReplyDeleteI was fortunate to marry the man who has been my better half for 40 years. It is where I was meant to be, I am sure.
Susan, You really are fortunate. That is more than a marriage, it's an investment. A comfortable investment with great returns. Whoo Hoo
DeleteRight back at ya, my dear. :-)
ReplyDeleteYou and the husband don't need Valentine Day. You have Valentine Day every every day.
DeleteFun valentine!!! I'm baking my valentine cakes for my boys right now... They're pushing 40, so little cards don't cut it anymore... xoxox
ReplyDeleteWell aren't you the sweetheart..... making cakes. I know mine would. When I lived in Bozeman I was into making raw pies and always one for the son who lives there. His wife is not the type that would mind at all because he does all (and I mean ALL) the cooking. Yeah, they go for that much more than cutsie little cards.
DeleteIt is all about Balance, no? You take some of this and some of that. Yes, dancing would have been wonderfully fulfilling for you, but would have left no room for anything else. Ergo, you managed to find a way to keep the dancing and love it, but you got love and children and grandchildren. Also some wonderful friends and the opportunity to try various adventures that you never would have tried had you been all caught up in The Dance. Yes, life is good:)
ReplyDeleteRobin, Thanks for the meaningful comment. Balance is a valuable middle ground to reach in one's life. I had some good dance partners and danced as much as I needed. When I went home it was comfortable to be greeted by people who love me. AND I think of how lonely I would be now, after the dancing shoes are in the close, if I had no family.
DeleteI envy the fact that you have no regrets. I love your outlook on life and I find it refreshing and inspiring.
ReplyDeleteMurees,
DeleteI didn't really come to this comfortable point in my life and realize how much I grew, even out of adversity, until I was in my late 70's and beginning of my 80's. Have faith, you are young but you will reach it too.
For my wife so dear
ReplyDeletechocolates are fine.
For Valentines this year
We stay up til nine.
Ha ha ha.... I know what you mean. The older we get, the earlier to bed. I also wake up before daylight. That must be what the phrase, "go to bed with the chickens," means.
DeleteDear Manzanita, like you, I have no regrets. This posting is one that I can so relate to in the sense of having a psychic or even more than one ask a question about why I'm here instead of there. Or doing this instead of that! Peace.
ReplyDeleteDee, It took nearly a lifetime to finally figure it out. It was as if I woke up one morning with complete peace and I had an epiphany during the night. I'm sure it was coming on for a long time but it was gentle and I hadn't noticed. Then I realized that I had choices along the way but either I made the right choice or I made peace with what was given me. Is that how it came about for your life, too?
DeleteLove and peace
Dear Manzanita, yes, I slowly woke to the realization that all was well and that I was where I needed to be and who I needed to be. That's true about my entire life up to the last four years. But right now I'm wondering if I didn't make a mistake in moving. And because I cannot move again, I'm realizing that I must embrace this new place and find peace here. That I must "wake up" to possibilities. Peace.
DeleteHow long did it take you to figure that out?
ReplyDeleteFran, A long time. (slow learner). Probably in my late 70's and by the time I hit 80 I was completely at peace with my life and all events that led to the present. You may have reached that earlier as you give out an aura of peacefulness.
DeleteManzanita, if you have no regrets then I say all went well. Living 80+ and having no regrets I say Bravo!
ReplyDeleteChuck, Perhaps I thought I had regrets when I was younger and things didn't always seem to go as I thought they should, but as I aged, I realized my path was the right one for this incarnation. I found, the next step is a kind of softening or a peaceful admission that everything happened as it was supposed to and if any one of the steps had been removed, it would have thrown my whole life off. Does that make sense?
DeleteThank, Chuck for your kind words. Hope you and your wife are having a perfect Valentines Day.
I do have a few regrets in life, but I learned from them. I'm still learning. Funny thing about Valentine's Day. The only person we sent a card to was our granddaughter.
ReplyDeleteKay, Kids take such delight in Valentines. I sent to my Granddaughter too but not my grown up kids. Although some years I do but we had quite a bit of snow and getting around wasn't too easy. We had more snow last night and it still isn't easy to drive. Ha.
DeleteI think your regrets will be softened by the time you reach my age. It just happens.
I'm of the "marry a good provider and have babies" era too. He wasn't such a good provider in the end, but we did have beautiful babies who have all done well. So no regrets there. I don't regret my decision to now be living alone either, I think it is the best choice for me. I'd be curious as to what a Vedic astrologer would tell me though.
ReplyDeleteRiver, Yes and I was never given any encouragement for a better education either. I was just encouraged to learn to type and take shorthand because girls had no expectations beyond being a secretary. Gregg shorthand. How antiquated that is now.
DeleteI bet your kids are beautiful and they are all successful. It proves you are a great parent.
Vedic astrology is the Indian (East) astrology and it is more exacting than Western. I studied Western but I discovered Vedic rather late in life and it is a lifetime study.
Ha ha, I think I gave that very card to my crush that I stalked in the first grade. It resulted in similar expressions:))
ReplyDeleteThere are some things and relationships I might have done differently but not if it would change me from what I have become. Life is good.
Patti, Oh oh, stalking in the first grade. He must have been a little hunk. :) I love those old cards and my granddaughter just sent it to me this season. She found a little shop where she lives that carries all the old quaint cards. This card says so much by the expressions and the girl saying, she has him. He must be thinking escape.
DeleteAnd It would change a lot of things.... you would always be the sweet generous person you are. But you would be on a different path. I often think of that too, but not with regrets.
I'm sitting by the window, watching big chunks of snow fall off my car as it snowed a lot last night and now it's supposed to be 41 temp today.
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I know exactly what you mean about marriage in the 'olden days'. I married for the first time in 1969 at the age of 18. I can clearly remember the following day thinking, "What do I do now? The script said live happily ever after but how do I do that?" I'm not kidding you. I'd never aimed for anything other than 'getting married'. I'm wiser now.
ReplyDeleteRosalind, Aren't we all. I had Gregg shorthand stuffed down my throat because my mother said, If you can't find a husband, you can always be a secretary. My only 2 options. Ha
DeleteI'm smiling at your pondering what to do the day after your marriage. It's as if you reached your goal early and then a big let-down.
Take care Ros
Dear Manzanita,
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to let you know that I'm here and this comment is real. And your life, your hopes and dreams are a part of some magical movie where you are the dancing queen.
I seem to be of a generation where I realised morals were totally gone when I found out my wife was cheating on her boyfriend.
In your own special way, I hope you had a peaceful Valentine's Day. I know mine was memorable in the end.
And thank you for your ongoing kindness during my time of trouble and for commenting on a posting that didn't exist.
With warmth and respect,
Gary :)
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Je ne regrette rien! Yay!
ReplyDeletehappy valentine's to you too Manzanita! Take care
x