Thursday, September 8, 2011

Buck Up

I was at Costco this morning and you know how everyone joins in on a conversation. The bagging guy was next to the cashier and said, "My Mother tried to ruin my Thanksgiving one year when she served salmon in place of turkey."

The cashier and I looked at one another and laughed but the guy dead-pan serious, said, "No, it's true. She had salmon in place of turkey." We could tell by the look on his face that he meant every blasted word he said.

Big ugly silence. The cashier forgot to keep ringing up. I said, "And now she keeps telling you to get over it." By now the cashier had recovered and chimed in about "get over it."

"No, she doesn't say that," bag boy (in his 30's) said in all seriousness.

Bye, I'm outta there but I thought about it all the way home. HE'S BLAMING HIS MOTHER .....YET.... THAT SHE RUINED HIS THANKSGIVING.

How times have changed. Who ever had the youth of a princess. Not me, for sure. I owned 3 dresses (girls didn't wear slacks or jeans then). Did I wish for more? I honored the dresses I had and loved them. 2 school dresses and one for Sunday. I thought I was lucky because I knew some girls who only had one dress.

Oh, the picture above is of a new patch on my jeans. I know, it's in style to wear jeans with holes, but not for me. I retrieved that pair of jeans from my daughter's Good Will bag long ago and such a perfect fit, it's difficult to part with them.

I was on a picnic with friends and a little girl got stung by a bee. She cried and whimpered and the mother gave her appropriate attention, love and some salve. An hour later, the little girl was still whimpering. All the Mother said was, "Time to buck up," and the little kid stopped crying and went on to play.

Evidently some mother's forgot to say that to their kids. Mine said it.


  1. Moving on past the fact that this was a male doing the whining and they are all big wusses.....His age would put him in my daughters age group (36)approximately. Hmmm. Maybe it's because we didn't get babied at all that we babied our kids a bit. I think I did. Darn!

  2. Oh God Love the Poor Boy.....NOT! Maybe mom doesn't like turkey. Maybe he should just grow up and act his age or maybe he should cook the Thanksgiving dinner for a change and invite his poor Mother!

  3. What a good post. As you say, we certainly didn't have all the clothes that the youngsters seem to have these days, nor did we have all the gadgets available to them, and yet still they are "bored"! Perhaps a lot more children should be told "time to buck up now!"

  4. What a big baby. Someone ought to give him a good swift kick in the pants.

    I grew up like you did Manzy. We had to wear dresses and I didn't have many. Mostly I got hand me downs. If we wanted underwear, socks, slips etc. We picked elderberries and sold them to the local grocer. Made us appreciate what we had and take care of it.

    Today, I have a really hard time getting rid of wearable clothes. I take my Grandkids clothing too. LOL!!!

  5. ooh my...poor baby!!! NOT...!!! I see these poor babies all the time. I do worry about them and how they're going to make it. I'm already talking about "that younger generation". I guess it's good that he's working, and not just texting and playing video games all day. I see these youngins driving trucks, that in all probability mom and dad bought, with that bumper sticker that says "just do it" to laugh, cause I don't see many of them doing much of anything.

  6. What an interesting experience. Unfortunately I am always the one who plays devil's advocate, because I always wonder but what's the rest of the story?? There's more to it I'm sure. Could be his mom was on a tear over some thing, or maybe she has emotional problems, or maybe she was feeling like shaking things up a bitmaybe he made the whole thing up!! Or maybe she did it on purpose just to ruin his Thanksgiving. (I drive my family crazy!)

    On the surface of it, I agree with the others' comments. He could be a spoiled, self-centered, overgrown whiner and if so, needs to get over it!

    I just always end up wanting the whole story! It's a curse.

  7. Mine said too! This post hit the nail on the head, don't know what is going to happen to this generation of wimps. :)
    Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

  8. Oh dear! That boy - he's lucky he even got a meal from his mum, good grief! :-)

    Hang on to these jeans, Manzanita! Finding a pair that fit and fits perfectly is like gold dust!

    Take care

  9. OK, so his mom did something different, and he couldn't adjust. Yeah, it was a surprise. But his response to his mom's act was his choice. Time to move on, son. The only one who ruins things for you is you.
    Good patchwork on the jeans. I've never liked jeans (I find them quite hot, actually). So I get cooler cottons. My choice.
    Good post. Might even say, "Just ducky."

  10. Hmmm, that young man was definitely a spoiled brat. Like most of you, I'm guessing, I had two choices when it came to eating any meal: eat it or do without. (And no matter how lousy it tasted, never, never, ever complain!)

  11. Love your story which jogged my memory of one of our Thanksgiving dinners. I had invited a man and his daughter who did not have family in Denver and wanted to put my best plate forward! I asked one of my sons to go down to the basement and take the turkey out of the freezer and place it in a pan in the basement refrigerator.
    Our busy lives of raising six kids went on and early Thanksgiving morning I went down to the basement to get my Turkey only to find out it was still in the freezer!
    Thankfully, we had steaks in the freezer! That Thanksgiving was a BBQ!

  12. my mother used the 'buck up' lingo alot - when we needed it. :)

  13. This explains why I am divorced and still single. My generation is seriously messed up. Seriously. People need to get over it already.

  14. My mother said it to me as, "Stop your crying, or I'll give you something to cry about."
    Yeah, I'm that mother now.
    I work with a princess.
    Can I just say that she makes me tired? Sucks the livin' life right out of me.
    She does, however, continue to inspire me onward to be the mom who tells my daughters to "suck it up and keep going."

  15. By the way, I told that princess coworker once that she was acting like a princess.
    Know what happened?
    (And this is a 30 YO woman, mind you!)
    She went home early, crying. And called in sick the next day.
    Makes me tired.

  16. Yup...I got a lot of buck up talk when I was growing up. I tell mine, "Suck it up and deal." Good post :)

  17. All I know is it sure would be nice to have salmon for Thanksgiving. Or any time at all for that matter.

  18. I truly enjoyed your post and this cashier story. So typical of the young folks today. I truly appreciate what little have today as I earned it. I never had anything frowing up. We were as poor as dirt.

  19. Salmon instead of turkey? Oh, the horror! At his age, he should be cooking mom Thanksgiving dinner.

  20. As a kid, when I got hurt or spanked and cried, the mama and the daddy told me to stop it. I can laugh about it now. :-) If the young man wants turkey for Thanksgiving, then he ought to cook it. Turkey, if I remember my history correctly, wasn't even served at the first Thanksgiving. Fish was.

  21. Delores : I think we all want our kids to have a better life than we had but sometimes in our haste to give them material things, we forget the moral lessons.

    Ann : You tell em, Ann. I am in total agreement.

    Terry : I'm sure our former lives made us survivors. We can survive under any situation. I've always been glad that I was young through the depression era.
    Elderberries......I've picked many of those too. :) It's probably why you and your sisters are so close.

    I never buy clothes either. Pick through the kids throw-aways. LOL

    Thisisme : Yes, times have changed but it appears to be cycling back again.

    Turquoisemoon: Your comment made me laugh because I think we all look at the young the same way. It does give us values to work for what we have.

    Mellodee : You have a point. There's always the other side to every story.

    Jules : Well stated, Jules. I don't know of a thing I would add to that. :)

  22. Kitty : Jeans like gold-dust. Well said. It's so impossible to find jeans that come to the waist. Can you imagine an 80 yr old in jeans that come to the hip? Ain't pretty!!!! Ha

    Rob-Bear : I agree jeans are hot. You must live in a warmer climate than Montana.

    Shawn : I love your story. Raising 6 kids.... I bet they had to learn responsibility (not counting the one who forgot to take the turkey out of the freezer Ha) Steaks made a wonderful Thanksgiving. One Thanksgiving, the dog ate the turkey after it was cooked and sitting on the kitchen counter. We were vegetarians that holiday.

    Susan : OMG Yes. We were happy with any food and never complained. I still remember VanCamp's beans and a piece of Wonder bread as a delightful meal. (Probably why I turned into such a health nut) :)

    Texwisgirl : That seemed to be the popular phrase. When Marilyn was here we were talking about the same thing and her Dad's favorite was, "Quit your bellyaching."

    Robin : You are so right. We all need to "get over it" and go on. All generations.

    Big D : Too bad. You are doing just fine on your own and don't need people in your life who suck your energy. You're a great MOM.

    Elizabeth : Thanks. I like your "suck it up and deal." Gives the same punch but sounds a little more modern. :)

    Towanda : I'd have salmon any time for any meal. My favorite fish. Love that King Salmon. Oh my, it's sooo good.

  23. LV : I'm with you. Everyone in our small town in Minnesota was in the same boat during the depression. We were all poor but the beautiful thing was, that we didn't know we were poor. That was just our way of life, so we thought. It was the way things were, so we accepted it cheerfully. I don't ever remember being unhappy because I didn't have material things.

    Mrs. Bacon : Thank you, my dear and god bless you too.

    Julie Fedderson : It does sound silly, doesn't it? Salmon in place of turkey. Given a choice, I'd take the salmon, any day.

    Su-siee : I think you hit the nail square on. I always see an artist's drawing of an Indian bringing a deer over his shoulders to the big feast. I'm sure there was fish from the (non-polluted) streams and perhaps wild turkeys and wild boars too. Who really knows? But I like the idea of salmon.... probably because it's my favorite fish.

    Thank you bloggy friends for your meaningful comments. This is why I love blogging.... so many well-adjusted people with good, solid values. You have the best weapons, your writing skills.
    Love you all, Manzanita

  24. I don't remember getting spoiled and I didn't spoil my kids either, although they did have quite a bit more than I had at their ages. But none of them grew up to be whingers, certainly not about the food I fed them.
    Lucky you and the jeans, what a find! Me and my girls are all different sizes.

  25. Hi Manzanita .. gosh - he hasn't changed his selfish ways has he! The best thing we did as we grew was still keep the traditions, but be more sensible with our requirements.

    My Mum used to cook for the Care Home and so we joined in .. we were sick to death of turkey come tea time - we hadn't really had lunch .. but had made sure everyone was comfortable and enjoyed their Christmas .. we went home to smoked salmon and champagne .. no cooking! Oh yes - we took a few tidbits with us .. if anyone wanted more Christmas feasting!

    Crumbs - and yes I mix and mend your patching ... cheers Hilary

  26. That he is a 30 year old bag boy tells a lot.
    My mom used to look at me after what she felt was an excessive amount of whining and just say "I am no longer listening" and would ignore me.

  27. Oh, can I relate. We would never have criticized anything our Mother cooked. It's called Being Grateful and Appreciative. Besides, my mother would never have tolerated it. But acting like a spoiled brat into your 30's? That's really sad.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog today. And great connecting with you!

  28. Mine said it, too. But I know moms who are the ultimate coddlers with kids like your Bag Boy. Everything is always about them - totally self-centered. Makes me crazy.

  29. Some men cannot get over the little disappointments in life!

    Many thanks for visiting me today. :)

  30. Oh, world in crisis! Fancy having something different!! If I was his mum (god forbid) I'd have suggested if he was so uptight about the meal, he could show everyone how it was done next year and do it himself!!!!

    We don't do Thanksgiving in OZ, but have I missed the point? Isn't it about being thankful?? And isn't having food better than not having food??!!

    Anyway, I know I'm preaching to the converted ... have a great weekend!!

  31. Salmon over turkey any day. Even on Thanksgiving.

  32. Ah, sound advice. Always good to start young. Sad for the guy at Costco though.

    Have a fab weekend! ;-)

  33. I like salmon and turkey and chicken.

    My mom and I were poor people. A really poor family of two people. Dad and mom divorced before I started school and that was ages before divorce was popular. Marriage is, nowadays, an excuse for shacking up and divorce is like "get lost" used to be.

    When people talk about being poor I smile. I never met a poor person or a poorer family than the one I was born into. We were so poor my sister used rags for Kotex and washed them out to use again, just like the old neighbor lady did. Well, I thought she was old when I was a kid but she lived forever.

  34. My husband is always saying that he wished he could do more for our daughter. Give her more.
    But, I think she is better off not getting everything. She has what she needs and doesn't complain.
    Some people can't seem to fathom having anything other than turkey for Thanksgiving. When I grew up I never got it until I was probably 12 and that was because my cousins got them free from their work and brought them over to Grandma's.

  35. Wasn't he lucky that was all he had to worry about!


  36. It's always a bit disheartening to run across people who blame other for their unhappiness. Why couldn't he have been thankful for the salmon? It's THANKSGIVING for crying out loud!

    As for buying jeans with holes in even get me started. I remember when a pair of jeans that were all patched up was a sign of prestige. The more patches, the more colorful they were, the more prestige they had. "Hey man, really dig your jeans. You must have had them a loooong time. Cool."

  37. Manza, that rose just took my breath away when I clicked onto your page. I absolutely love it.

    And, too true. There must be a balance of tenderness and firmness. The earlier, the better.

  38. Time to buck up! That's great. I have heard my own daughter say that!

  39. River : You have a wonderful family with good values. I have thrown away so many jeans but can't part with this pair.

    Hilary : Sound like you had a wonderful family life. To go home to smoked salmon and champagne was a treat. That was a merry Christmas.

    Patti : That was a good lesson too. You probably felt ignored at the time but I bet it paid off for you in adulthood. Some of our lessons as kids seem harsh but I don't know how else we learn.

    Liz : You used the magic word, "Gratitude." We are happiest when we show gratitude for all that we have.

    Carol : Mom's like that certainly are not doing their kids any favors. Boy, I can't be around whiney kids. They drive me crazy in the grocery store.

    Glynis : Yes, some men seem to hang on to things like that more than women do. Good point

    Red : Preaching to the converted. Yes, love that phrase. I doubt if anyone likes a self-centered man but I wonder if the mums would admit they had a hand in it. Maybe they did and perhaps some babies are just born that way.

  40. Kerry : I'm with you. Salmon, yummm. I could eat salmon every day.

    Talei : I'm smiling because it didn't look like he was the most popular bag boy in Costco.

    Abraham : All food is good when you are hungry. We were born in a depression era because we had certain lessons to learn. I hope I learned them and feel gratitude for everything that I have. I do remember when sanitary napkins were a luxury. Few women could afford them during the depression.

    Ruth : I think you're right. People seem better off with less. Some women have such cluttered closets they don't know what they have. I'm actually happier with fewer clothes.

    Raindrops and Daisies : Poor boy. Obviously he didn't have a girl friend at his age and I can see why.

    Bish : There are people like that, who never take responsibility for things in their life. I know someone in my family like that and it's so noticed because no one else is like that. Jeans..... a bugaboo in my life. I had another comfy pair, previously and I couldn't part with them either. Patches upon patches. But when denim gets really worn it feels so soft and fits the body so well. I would wear those jeans everywhere. I can remember visiting my friend Marilyn's parents in AZ and me standing beside the clothes dryer with a towel, waiting for my jeans to get dry. You can travel pretty light with one pair of jeans. Ha.

    Suze : I found that rose in my garden and it's so perfect it doesn't look real. But it sure is!!!

    Galen : Good for your daughter. She must have learned it from her Mother. :)

  41. I certainly heard it in my life and it helped! I would have loved to have salmon for any meal. It sounds like it's time for mom to retire hosting Thanksgiving celebrations for the ungrateful and time for someone else to treat her for a change. Thanks for sharing this thought provoking post and for stopping by to see me! I hope you are having a wonderful weekend!

  42. If he's in his 30's and bagging groceries, he's probably living at home, in which case he should be glad he has a meal for crying out loud. And what the dickens is wrong with salmon anyway (as long as it isn't farm raised).
    I went to a parochial school and we had to wear blue pants and white shirts. Our family was not always well off. Blue pants got so frayed had to wear older brothers grey pants. I remember the nun being understanding enough to reprimand me by saying "Nice shade of blue there".

  43. Man, I can't imagine what my kids are going to say when they're out on their own and having a similar conversation.

    We have shrimp for Thanksgiving, sometimes ham. No one likes turkey.

    We have pizza for Christmas.

    Shame on me for serving that.

    I agree, suck it up baby. If that's what you have to complain about in life, you NEED a life!

    PS. My mom was of the same school. No coddling here. Hug, kiss and deal with it.

  44. Buck up, what else is there to say that hasn't been said before. Some people just love to feel sorry for themselves.

  45. Great post! This kinda reminds me of the time I put up one of those plastic spiral Christmas trees, instead of a real tree, ONE year! My grown kids flipped and still remind me about it! That generation is spoiled, for sure! Thanks for stopping by!

  46. Maybe the Mum just started an allergy to turkey? Or her son?! Lol! Move on, son!

  47. I love salmon, but I think being served fish in the place of turkey at Thanksgiving would be pretty traumatic. Heck, it would be downright blasphemous. Why'd you have to tell me this story anyway? Now I may have nightmares about it.

    Tossing It Out

  48. Candace : Thanks for the comment. I think most of us have heard "Buck up."It gives us backbone as adults and it makes acceptance easier.

    Anthony : You should come up with one of your magic recipes for salmon for Thanksgiving. Yummm, I can see it now, maybe with a turkey too, as turkey is so traditional. But, I'd take salmon, given a choice.
    It makes good memories that you went to school with kind hearted nuns as teachers.

    Reener :Thanks for stopping by. Oh, I never liked turkey either. It always seemed so dry (Probably the way it was cooked or over-cooked).I would like to be a guest at your Thanksgiving table. Sounds wonderful.

    Friko : I always like that phrase, "buck up." Has a punch. But now, I guess the more modern phrase is, "suck it up." :)

    Marguerite : I can relate to your plastic tree. I'm down to that, too. No needles to vacuum up. My kids are all so old, they are looking for the easy way out, now.

    Nas : You made me chuckle. I think her allergy was to the son. :)

    Arlee : Oh how I hate to be the one responsible for your turkey nightmares. Now you may be doomed to counting turkeys before you go to sleep. Goes with the territory :)
    This has been a fun and friendly comment group. An example of how
    bloggy friends blend together. Love you all. Manzanita

  49. Yeah, there are definitely a lot more blamers these days. i think it takes a certain maturity, and some people have it early and some never do. My daughter yelled at me this morning about making her get up late. She is responsible for her own alarm, mind you, but I apparently lingered in the shower a minute too long and she fell back to sleep. I try to teach the lesson... and sometimes she seems to get it, but never on the little stuff.

  50. I'm back again to let you know I have an award for you on my blog. Happy Monday!

  51. Holy cow, Manzi!!!
    It took me FOREVER to get thru all these comments! You are well loved, and that is a FACT!!!

    My Mom gave us the "Buck Up" speech many a time, and I remember telling my boys the same thing. Sometimes things don't go your with it and move on!

    Hope all is well with you, my friend...
    xoxoxo, cd

  52. That bag boy ought to be put in charge of cooking all big-event dinners for him and his Mum for the next year and then hopefully he'll stop moaning. Love the thought that you rescued and repaired those jeans, by the way.

  53. Mine said it, too! And more! :)

    That man should be grateful his mum is still even cooking for him!

  54. Maybe that guy needs to learn he's old to cook himself and invite his mom over for Thanksgiving. :-)

  55. LOL. Love the patched jeans. They look comfie. =D

  56. Hart : You daughter will get it. It's important that she "gets it" on the big stuff.
    I raised a "blamer." It's always someone else's fault. Then I also raised 3 who take full responsibility. Go figure, huh.

    Clare : You're a great Mom and daughter. That was a great celebration you gave your parents for their wedding anniversary.

    Talli : It's usually "the more" that cements the deal. :)

    Rosalind : It's almost impossible to get a really comfortable pair of jeans. They always feel so stiff. These mold in just the right places. :) And they come up to the real waist.

    Jeffifer : The poor mom would probably drop dead from shock if she got an invitation to dinner from son. LOL

    RaShelle : Are they ever but I had to patch. The hole was showing parts of my anatomy that ladies don't show. :)

  57. You are lucky that yours said it. So many narcisstic (I know I spelled that wrong, but it is late here.) hoarding parents love other things more than their offspring. (I brought up hoarding, please don't think that you did! It's what I do.)

    I ruined a family Thanksgiving once. Or twice. But choices and actions were made as a family, so we all just laughed and grew closer. Mistakes include turducken (we *tried*) and brining AND frying the turkey in concert (equaled too salty).

    If she maliciously tried, then his memory deserves to linger until he is smart enough to heal. However, I agree that he needs to heal and shake it off for what it is, love his mother the best he can while he is still fortunate to have her.

    And Manzanita, I really do like your writing style and topics; it resonates with me.

    Have a great Thanksgiving!!!

    Damn. Now I'm hungry in addition to being up too late...